Saturday, May 26, 2012

"There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body,
the soul is on its knees."
—Victor Hugo
Dear Jamison,

Baby boy we are about to celebrate your one week birthday.  During the last 9 months I've gotten to experience amazing things.  Being pregnant with you was one of the most beautiful journeys I've ever been on.  For 39 weeks God formed you inside of me; half of your dad, and half of me. I watched as my stomach expanded, and in turn, watched you grow, from a little tiny speck inside of my belly to an 8 pound miracle.  I feel so blessed beyond belief God chose me to be your Mama and I hope you could sense all the love I was sending to you while you developed.  Now that you are here, I am sometimes over come by the love I feel for you.  It is a love I could never have anticipated or protected myself from.

The moment you were born, you started out on your own path, but your dad and I will always be with you when you need us.  These past months have been the happiest of our entire life, and we look forward to making many more joyful memories with you.  Remember you also have a Father in heaven who loves you more than you could ever imagine and will guide you.  I pray that you trust Him with your heart; He is good, never-failing and a true constant.  You are proof of that fact. He loves you. He loves you. HE LOVES YOU.  

As we begin a new phase in life, and even though you won't physically be inside of my body anymore, I know I will always carry a part of you with me, as your mother. Wherever we go, together or apart, your heart and soul is joined with mine.  All that to say, we are praising God for the gift of you.

So with that, I leave you with one of my favorite poems by e.e. cummings that i also gave your dad on our "2 years of dating" anniversary while we were in college:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

I love you sweet boy, you are my heart.

Love and prayers,
Your Mama

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