3 Generations

what a beautiful sight!

If

My nephew Trip had to memorize the poem If

for a school project

there's a little impromptu action at the very end

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling

4 Cousins

my favorite boys under 11

{Lukie making his Hulk face}

pretty cute if i do say so myself

:)

1 week Birthday!!

home is wherever i'm with you...

a little late

...but what else is new...

:)

we finally left the hospital last Wednesday

and couldn't WAIT to be home

but for some unknown reason i was crying

{pretty standard for me these days}

loading up in suba-ruby

(my little subaru)

and

heading to the casa

"There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body,

the soul is on its knees."

—Victor Hugo

Dear Jamison,

Baby boy we are about to celebrate your one week birthday.  During the last 9 months I've gotten to experience amazing things.  Being pregnant with you was one of the most beautiful journeys I've ever been on.  For 39 weeks God formed you inside of me; half of your dad, and half of me. I watched as my stomach expanded, and in turn, watched you grow, from a little tiny speck inside of my belly to an 8 pound miracle.  I feel so blessed beyond belief God chose me to be your Mama and I hope you could sense all the love I was sending to you while you developed.  Now that you are here, I am sometimes over come by the love I feel for you.  It is a love I could never have anticipated or protected myself from.

The moment you were born, you started out on your own path, but your dad and I will always be with you when you need us.  These past months have been the happiest of our entire life, and we look forward to making many more joyful memories with you.  Remember you also have a Father in heaven who loves you more than you could ever imagine and will guide you.  I pray that you trust Him with your heart; He is good, never-failing and a true constant.  You are proof of that fact. He loves you. He loves you. HE LOVES YOU.  

As we begin a new phase in life, and even though you won't physically be inside of my body anymore, I know I will always carry a part of you with me, as your mother. Wherever we go, together or apart, your heart and soul is joined with mine.  All that to say, we are praising God for the gift of you.

So with that, I leave you with one of my favorite poems by e.e. cummings that i also gave your dad on our "2 years of dating" anniversary while we were in college:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

I love you sweet boy, you are my heart.

Love and prayers,
Your Mama

baby hiccups

delicious

thank goodnes...

❝God has paid us the intolerable compliment of loving us, in the deepest, most tragic, most inexorable sense.

— C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

ssshhh...don't wake the baby

how i'm feelin' about now..

Dear Jamison,

Well, sweet boy your mama is almost 9 months pregnant now. It's funny because before I was ever pregnant I always thought that if someone was 9 months pregnant it meant they were about to give birth, but no. It's a full 9 months which means you could be born today or in a few weeks. Your dad and I are finally getting a little more settled in our home and everything seems a lot more real than before.  Things are happening very quickly and every little baby item we set up is a reminder that you will be here soon! 

As these days wind down I find myself already categorizing events into a "before Jamison is born" and "after Jamison is born" frame of mind.  Your arrival has already changed our lives for the better. I just wish you could see this version of myself and your dad; parents but not-quite-parents, our younger selves about to go on an incredible adventure.  I'd like for you to be able to meet us as we are now and know that we are young twenty-somethings who are in love.  I want you to know our story.

As these next few days fly by, I want you to know how excited we are. You were our world before you ever came into the world, and have always been a part of us. Whoever you are, whoever you want to be, we will accept you fully and love you. You are already loved so much. We've been getting everything ready for you, we've been praying, and waiting.  Our anticipation is unreal and oh-so very exciting.  Hello Jamison! Welcome home! We've been waiting for you.

I love you,
Your Mama

A few pics from the nursery

fun times

at

38 weeks

bebe J's library

amen adele